Dealing with difficult personalities at work.

A great read

I find you have the people that talk about doing something and those that just go and do it, the bit I find hard is how to get the talker to just go and do the job?? What makes it even harder is sometimes these people are on the same management level as me....I agree, its different personalities and learning how to deal with them....

Difficult people at work?? Hard to believe, oh my. So many weird folks out there, at my last job, I think everyone in the article worked there.

Great article - and YES they all do exist and I have worked with them.

Thank you! This is always a challenge in any office, it's always good to be prepared beforehand for any difficult personalities you may have to deal with in the workplace. I'll be starting a new job on Wednesday, so it's a good reminder!

Very timely! Thanks for posting. These are the types of quick refreshers that can get me back on track. Soldier on! Don't become weary in doing the right thing; in due time it will pay off.

Actually, one of the acid tests of a successful leader is to be able to handle difficult personalities. To boot, each of them is difficult in a "different" way and the way towards winning them are different.
May be later, some real life examples !

So have I! I especially like breaking down the grumps--I have plenty of experience in winning over grumpy colleagues with a positive, can-do attitude. Not fun sometimes, but I usually end up feeling a great sense of accomplishment.

Its kind of funny...to a certain degree. The people who normally have difficual personalities....lack COMMON SENSE and COMMON COURTESY! I agree with Diann! There are some people who need a "check up from the neck up!"

Thank you. This is good and valuable information. I could identify individuals I work with when I read the descriptions and found the information helpful in regards to situations I deal with on a daily basis that no one will address. It has given me some incite and hopefully some ways to work through these situations. Everyone is going to have to go through professionalism training in the next few weeks. Hopefully this will fit right in with the information in this article and we can make this a better place to work.

Thanks, great timing in sharing this article; we have 3 EA's in one office; two of us are mature, have common sense, etc however it's been awful since they added the third one about 6 months ago, she yells from the back of our office across the room over us; she's loud, never shuts up; comments in discussions when other people are talking to us, listens to all phone conversations and gives comments during the phone discussion and asks for details as soon as the conversation is over; it's so frustrating. She also seems to think she knows everything and there is nothing she can possibly learn ; omg :0)

@ Angie Krishan- Sometimes people like that don't realize they are acting different. They want to be noticed but go about it the wrong way. By using some humor at the time she does something you can raise the issue without insulting her. Good luck!

This was very validating for me. However, you missed on other office thug. The bully and their enablers. There are three in a small department in Finance. They will gang up one employee, whom ever is the favor of the day and berate them. I have had a new supervisor say to me. You will not get a fair shake with them regardless of the issues.
Any suggestions on how to approach people like this????

Thanks so much! It's good to know we all share the same challenges and can
provide support through these forums.

Great article. We learn every day of our lives. Those kind of people make you to be more strong, if you check those people are gossipers because the always check each and everything you do and they always have negative things to say, but they are not aware the that those are some of the challenges which makes one strong and helps you to grow.

My husband Ron Newton has been helping companies for years solve their people problems in the workplace. From his experience, he's written a highly acclaimed book, No Jerks on the Job. Ron spent 20 years working with troubled youth before transitioning into the corporate world of "troubled" and "troubling" employees. He's found some very workable solutions for managers. Feel free to contact him to help you solve your "people puzzles."

I have had the "pleasure" of working with many of the personalities listed. It has not always been an easy road however, I have had personal growth from each and every experience. There is one missing -the infamous bully- every office has one! Thank you for sharing, Dan!

Some great advice! :0)

One thing that can help regarding dealing with difficult and different personalities is the DISC management profile/DISC worker profile. Some of you may be familiar with DISC products. I would recommend these tools so that people can better understand each other. Another resource I want to offer here is a little booked entitled: Managing Difficult People: A Survival Guide for Handling Any Employee by Marilyn Pincus (2004). It's excellent--and an easy read.

Great insight - I always thought I could define personality traits in the workplace but not as highly understandable nor in-depth as this posting is when dealing with difficult people. I tend to always agree with these type of people( I am the yes person) no matter how it hurts; knowing that my focus is to maintain a positive attitude - Stephen Covey's " 7 Habits of the highly effective people". By maintaining a professional attitude when dealing with these types of behavior as we most often cannot avoid these bullies in the workplace. Bullies are not liked by their boss's; I tend to believe that this is the underlining factor being a subordinate, they then lash out to feel inferior......... besides their own personal problems /issues.

Lisa, Thank you for the advice. Having worked with many of these personalities (who hasn't?) and having been some of them myself at times, it's good to get some good ways to deal with them - as well as to see how others may see us.

In a wonderful Org Behavior college class, we spent some time on a motivational grid: Power, Money, Relationships and Achievement. I've seen this several times in corporate training as: Dominant, Expressive, Amiable and Analytical. It really can help to know one's own major/secondary drivers and recognize those of colleagues. At one major corporation, our VP of Internal Comms brought in consultants to teach us the Friendly Style Profile and help each of us evaluate our personal profiles. Then we were required to post our colored cards (profiles) below the name plates on our cubicles. What seemed like a stretch proved to be wildly accurate. One of my graphic designers was red/red, so achievement-oriented when things were going well AND when things fell apart. I was red/green, so achievement-oriented for goals, but willing to preserve relationships when things got rocky. BIG difference in approach. Awareness is golden.

http://www.friendlypress.com/home/fp1/page_32/the_friendly_style_profiletrade_for_people_at_work.html

This is a great discussion topic. It forces us to step back from the minutia of our work and life and realize that, in the end, people are simply human beings and individuals with a wide range of differences. Then we're joined through all sorts of ways and for many reasons in order to drive an organization's mission, values.

I fiercely believe that there aren't "difficult people" ... rather difficult and, all too often, uncontrollable circumstances that we -- being the unique individuals we each are -- get thrown into/at. Ambiguity on top of ambiguity.

As a corporate communicator, it's this thinking and compassion that I strive to maintain consistently throughout everything I do. Needless to say, some situations are harder than others but, in those tough circumstances, I'm committed to focusing keenly on the end need/goal, and to minimize the politics and personalities. Or, at the very least, not contribute or exacerbate those dynamics further if/as they arise.

I really wished I had run into this long ago as this is a great read! It would have been far more beneficial than a bottle aspirin…LOL…:-D….Thanks for sharing Lisa!

I firmly agree with the preceding comments. Like you I believe the key is to understand the other 'difficult' individual, and then utilize appropriate motivators within an effective communication framework. As a follow on from Rebecca's comments about motivators linked to Power, Money, Relationships and Achievement, the document provided at this web location may help to shed further light on this aspect:
http://www.seahorses-consulting.com/DownloadableFiles/Motivation.pdf

This also contains links to files that will assist you to profile individuals and groups more effectively. I hope that this information will be of assistance.

I hate to admit it but I'm probably one (if not more) of the personalities in this post. Aarrgggh.
While I agree that to get things done and not get overly annoyed or pessimistic at the office it's important to find a way to work with these personality types, it's important to remember that companies and in particular managers have a responsibility to manage these kinds of personalities in a proactive and constructive way.
Despite being a bit of a downer at times (I'm prone to find problems) I was shocked out of this behavior quite effectively by a boss who didn't threaten or intimidate me but took the time to find out the underlying issue and solve it.
End of negativity (well, in that group at least).

To follow Michelle's comment: years ago one friend managed an international sales group for Owens-Corning. To prevent what he considered non-productive complaining about problems, his rule was this: "You can come and tell me about any problem or challenge as long as you bring three possible solutions to the conversation."

We all tend to be difficult at times, a bad hair day or two, or three, or.... Well, you get the picture. Since we're only human and when having a bad hair day, what we really need is someone to understand us. Someone who cares enough to spend a few minutes with us. To hear us. To talk us through the bed-head mentality. We also need to recognize that we're all interconnected. What I do, say, etc. affects you and conversely. So why not make the workplace, family life, etc. a better place and work together.

A really good insight into how people work and how to deal with same in simple to understand terms

Great article and information.

I consider myself fortunate to work with a great group of people today. They really try hard to operate as family. There is a great mix of men and women and the majority being married. I've worked in government for many years and some of the places were very unprofessional. I hate to say it, but most of the strife in the offices I've worked was caused by women.

Perception can be a touchy thing. Performance equals potential minus interference. These difficult personality types certainly add interference, which lowers performance. Often, however, difficult people do not realize they are perceived to be either difficult or an interference. Getting them to look in the mirror and see what others see can be, and often is, both dangerous and exhausting. If you deal with them, be careful and patient. I wish you luck.

Thanks for sharing. We've all run across these types during our careers (and sometimes acted like one of them) and it is good to be reminded of ways to interact successfully (hopefully) with them.

This is a lot of really great advice. I wish I would have read this 20 years ago. Actually, even 5 years ago would have saved me so much heartache.

I think that psychological influence is the most ignored on our day to day relationships.
Good article to help us to see ourselves and the others with new eyes and have a new beginning, if needed.

Lisa - You have elegantly described the types of difficult employees managers and business owners have to deal with. It is not easy to deal with them and firing them right away may not be an option for everyone.

I recommend 4-step approach to deal with various categories of difficult employees 1) Communicate 2) Coax 3) Confront and 4) Kick out. You should try reconciliatory approach and confront only after they do not work resulting in eventual firing.

You can find additional details on this 4-step approach on the article I wrote. Would love to hear your expert opinion on it - http://www.smallbizviewpoints.com/2011/11/06/4-step-approach-to-deal-with-difficult-employees/